Dr Lurve

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Real advice on how to conquer the online dating scene

Now that the pandemic has created new ways to date during lockdowns and restrictions, online dating reigns as the King of the dating universe. As we’ve moved away from those rom-com meet-cutes in the coffee shop and head toward chat pick up lines and cyber-coffee dates, there’s never been a better time to brush up on your online dating A-game.

When it comes to dating apps and sites, it helps save you a lot of time and effort you’d put into a first date that doesn’t quite suit you. Online dating works as a screening process, where you can gather potential suitors and see who’s made the cut to meet in person (when it’s safe to do so of course). Talking to potential beaus while sipping on a vino on the couch in your robe can be thrilling, but there’s nothing quite like going out on a real date – so how can you determine a good catch and be a pro at online dating? 

A few ways to lift your online dating game and conquer the digital domain

Don't be shy

One of the great pros when it comes to online dating is that you can craft the perfect message, rather than be put on the spot on a phone call or out on a date. This means you have a bit more time to prepare what you want to say, but don’t use this a gateway for starting a white lie – it’s so easy to come up with stories or anecdotes to make ourselves sound cool, but ultimately the lie catches up with you. Keep it simple, don’t overshare online and leave a little intrigue so when you do meet up, there’s still some information to be revealed.

Update your bio and photos

There’s nothing worse than seeing someone’s profile that hasn’t been updated in a year but they’re still active online. You wouldn’t want someone to stumble onto your profile and hit the ‘X’ because you’re too vague – make sure you’ve got enough information in your bio, along with something that showcases your personality. Remember when it comes to your profile photos to avoid any filtered photos, group pics that don't show who you are, or half-cropped images! That’s a fast way to get no matches.

Make the first move

The great thing about dating apps like Bumble is that women have to make the first move by messaging their match, rather than the other way around. Don’t be afraid to lead with something bold to get their attention – what do you have to lose? They’ll either hate it and you can move on, or they’ll respond well and make it a great conversation. Either way, you’re showcasing your personality and letting people decide if they want more or not; if they unmatch it’s their loss.

Never take it too seriously

Just like showing off who you are during a chat, it’s a good idea to keep in the back of your mind that this stuff shouldn’t be too serious! You’re not looking for a life partner, and if you are you’re probably using the wrong dating apps (try RSVP or eHarmony rather than Tinder, Hinge or Bumble). Going on these apps is a bit of fun and games, and if you end up finding a real love connection like some people have, then great! The best relationships start off as casual friendships that grow into a deeper love – don’t put so much pressure on yourself to find ‘the one’ and just have a good time.

Watch out for catfishes

Catfishing happens when someone uses another person’s identity like their name and images on social media and dating sites to trick a potential lover into thinking that’s them. This can be someone who is aiming to scam online or is too insecure to use their own details and images to find a relationship. Sometimes, people who catfish are super insecure with their own looks and confidence that they feel they need to be someone else to get a match – my advice is that if it seems too good to be true, and they don’t want to FaceTime or meet up in future, you’re probably being catfished.

Be safe online and offline

It can be really tempting, but until you really know the people you’re chatting to online don’t give out any personal information like your home address, email or phone number. Not only can hackers get into the dating app systems, but you don’t really know the people you’re talking with! Don’t send money to anyone you don’t trust or share your card details either – I know it sounds obvious but you don’t know how many people get scammed online on a daily basis! 

When you do finally meet up with your date, tell a friend or family member where you’re going and keep it in a public place; if you’re going to their house, text someone the address. In most cases you’ll have a great time with your new date, but it’s always better to be safe and take precautions when you don’t know them well enough yet!

Final thoughts

While not every first date will turn into a second, it’s best to remember that not everyone is going to be into you, but the right person you need in your life will gravitate your way, as long as you keep putting your honest self out there – now go forth and get to dating!