5 signs you might be locked in a toxic relationship cycle
Sometimes we look back on past relationships and wonder how we stayed in them for so long; turns out when you’re in a relationship it’s a lot harder to see what’s toxic about it.
If you’re constantly falling into a pattern of bad relationships, you could be sabotaging your own happiness by accident – check out these 5 signs that you’re in a toxic relationship and how to break the habits!
1. Constantly making excuses for your partner
Whether you’ve had a bad day or week, most people leave their sour faces at home if they’re heading to a party, but not your beau. Say it’s your friend’s birthday and they rock up late, in a bad mood or have made no effort in their appearance; you feel embarrassed in front of your friends and need to apologise on your partner’s behalf “they’re having a bad day”. If you consistently cover for their behaviour and it bothers you, discuss with your partner in private – if they love you they’ll take your advice on board, if not they’ve shown you their true colours.
2. You’re the only one trying to fix the problems
Effort from both partners makes a relationship work, but when one person is working harder than the other it can be a hotbed for arguments and conflict. If you feel like you’re doing double the work to keep communication flowing, your partner happy and removing obstacles for them, it’s time to chat about the workload. All work with little reward isn’t how a relationship should be – ask yourself exactly how do you benefit from this relationship. See the value in your efforts and stop working overtime for someone who isn’t doing the same for you.
3. You worry when they go out
Feeling insecure and anxious about your relationship can stem from not trusting your partner, either due to you being insecure about the strength of the relationship or you’re not confident within yourself. If you’ve been hurt in the past or your partner has broken your trust before, it can be difficult to overcome if you’re the only one trying to keep the relationship alive. Your partner should be instilling confidence in you and the relationship, rather than manipulating your thoughts that you’ll never find anyone better than them. Know your worth and find someone who will see you as an equal!
4. You secretly enjoy the drama
It’s hard to actually identify whether you love the drama in your relationship, but if it looks like a constant roller coaster of make ups and break ups, we’ve got some shocking news for you. You’re addicted to romantic trauma of extreme highs and extreme lows; the highs are increased feelings of euphoria, love and happiness with your partner (make up) and the lows are moments of heated anger, depression and dramatic scenes (break up). Reflect on your life and think about what the drama is replacing; people with a lot of drama in their lives tend to have something missing from it. Whether it’s a purpose or passion you can’t seem to find, discover within yourself what will help remove the drama and toxic cycle
5. Your friends don’t like your partner
Look back on past and current relationships, did your friends and family really like your partner, or were they just being nice? Our loved ones make sure we are happy in our relationships as they can see from a third party perspective – when they meet a new partner and instantly form a not-so-favourable opinion on them, you must try to understand why. Your loved ones can see traits and flaws in your partner that you may not have seen yet; they’re impartial and don’t have rose coloured glasses on, so they can see clearly what you are yet to experience.
Right now it might seem really unfair that they don’t like your partner and you do, the best way to relate to their perception is to talk openly about what they don’t like about your new relationship, preferably without biting their heads off if they say something you don’t agree with!