Is It Normal to Have A Wandering Eye In A Relationship?

wondering eye.jpg

Imagine you’re out at dinner with your partner and an attractive woman walks past the table, you see she’s caught his eye as he glances a little too long; this sends you into an internal rage with questions darting across your mind like “why is he staring at her, I’m right here”, “does he think she’s more attractive than me” or “am I not enough”.


If it happened to be you staring at an attractive man walking past the table, it’s unlikely your partner would go into the same question-fuelled psychosis that we would.


Men and women are wired differently; somehow men can be just physically attracted to someone with no emotional connection, while women find comfort in familiarity and connecting with someone on a deeper level. As men find individual assets of women attractive—ass man, legs man, or boobs man—women tend to have more of a ‘type’ as we find a particular kind of look attractive.


Why does my boyfriend look at other women?


It’s normal for men to have wandering eyes—yes all men darling—it’s in their nature but shouldn’t be used as an excuse for inappropriate behaviour. He may not have noticed other women during your honeymoon phase because all of his attention was focused on you, but if you’ve been together for a while you could notice him looking at other women sometimes.


If he’s a normal, respectable guy, he’ll glance at the woman passing then bring his attention right back to you. She’ll be out of his mind in mere seconds, after all he’s at the restaurant to be with you! Remember you are the woman he chooses to be in a relationship with above all else, so take a deep breath and silence those darting questions in your head.


What does my boyfriend’s wandering eye mean?


What it does not mean is that he:

●     finds her more beautiful than you

●     is or will be unfaithful to you

●     isn’t attracted to you anymore

●     you don’t satisfy him enough

●     he isn’t happy in the relationship or with you


Looking at another woman means he’s attracted to her and he could even wonder what it’s like to be with her but that’s all it is to men: a thought. The distinguishable nature between being a mature, grown man and being an asshole is acting on those thoughts.


Only be concerned when he’s blatantly staring (not just looking), makes an inappropriate comment, flirts or even touches other women; those are the red flags that he’s losing interest in you and he doesn’t respect you (or any woman) — pack your things and go!


How do I stop him from looking at women?


Unfortunately you can’t quite stop men from having a wandering eye forever, but you can make it clear to him that it hurts your feelings. If he’s doing it a little too often and you start to doubt his loyalty, it’s best to actually tell him how his gawking makes you feel.


As much as we wish they were, men aren’t mind readers and they won’t be able to guess how you feel if you stay silent during the drive home.


While it can be hard to take down the walls and actually admit you feel insecure when he does look at others, let him understand where you’re coming from. Though he feels only physical attraction to her and nothing more, but he has no idea that you feel like he’ll dump you for her in a second. It sounds like women are irrational when you read it, but this is exactly how a lot of us feel when put in that situation; it’s more common than you think.


The best thing to do about your man’s wandering eye is to talk with him; it could well be the conversation you needed to reignite a spark between you that will have you keeping his gaze.

Dr Lurve