Module 1
Lesson #6: What grows in your garden?
We have all heard about the law of attraction and I have to say in my experience, it’s been a game changer. Whatever you focus on grows; if you focus on the weeds or what is wrong, it brings fear and you keep creating it; if you focus on the flowers or your assets, your strengths, how amazing you are, what you want, you’ll create more of that. Your focus doesn’t discriminate, if you tell it to look at the weeds it will, if you tell it notice the flowers it will. If you tell it to notice something that’s not there it will make it up in your mind and you will see that!
Unfortunately, we spend most of our time avoiding pain, avoiding what we don’t want, avoiding the feeling of fear. Fear is a powerful driver of behaviour and thought; we move away from what we fear rather than towards what we want. In our garden example, this would be like spending all your time on the weeds instead of nurturing the garden. You must do both, weed the garden while watering and nurturing what you want to grow. When we start to focus, nurture and water what it is we want we start to create change, the garden grows!
Change can come quickly, or it can take longer, it all depends how resistant you are to change or what you are focusing on. You can teach yourself to focus on what you want, to believe, and feel the things you want on a regular basis. This is important when you meet people, especially men! If you are stuck in negative self-belief and feelings, you will come across as unsure and they will not be convinced you are genuine or someone they can connect with. When you have vision, dreams, hope and love for yourself you come across as strong, powerful and full of love for yourself, with boundaries in place. This looks like self-respect.
Believe it or not, functional men have pretty good bullshit metres. You can pretend to be confident while deep down you feel crap, but he will know it! He might not know how to verbalise what he is feeling but he will feel a little disconnected to you. Men might say, “I’m not very sensitive” but they are and don’t realise it – and they pick up on how you feel about yourself.