Module 5
Lesson 1 – Men are not looking for perfection
We have grown up watching movies, comparing our lives, wishing it could be like some of the storylines we are mesmerised with. Why? Because the movie makes us feel good, or at least it’s an overall positive experience. It takes you on a journey and you experience different emotions while watching. That’s what relationships are like, they are a journey filled with many emotions. For it to be a positive experience you’ll want to feel an array of emotions; you laugh, you cry, you are scared, curious, excited, happy and so on. This is the blockbuster movie and a bland relationship is a boring movie!
A great relationship is the total of all its parts, which means overall the relationship should be good, just like a movie!
Variety is one of our needs as humans, although some like more variety than others we still like having options. The reason why people develop addictions is because of the intermittent rewards they get while engaging with the substance, sometimes they win and other times they lose, yet they continue to play even though the reward is not guaranteed. It’s because unpredictability is addictive and the same feeling becomes addictive in relationships. Men love unpredictability, but the good kind (at least the healthy guys do). Not the kind that keeps you wondering if you’re in a relationship or if your partner is coming home tonight – it’s about switching things up, spicing up life that men love.
When we spice things up and offer variety to a man, we force him to experience various emotions. Remember a good movie takes you through the motions! When you have a man experience his emotions, it’s the fastest way to build a connection, so where do you start?
You have to have him associate good feelings with you! Which means when you get curious about who he is and what he does or what he loves, he becomes excited. Asking good questions that involve what he is passionate about and what he is excited about will have him diving into his feeling of excitement, then he will associate these feelings with you. Ultimately when he thinks of you, he is excited. Yes, it’s that easy! The better the questions the better outcomes; drop the standard boring pointless questions and get seriously curious about him!