Module 2
Lesson 2: Men
Most men are good and do not want to hurt you. You may think that he is a bad guy for not wanting to be with you or to not give you what you want but the reality is he doesn’t want to hurt you or waste your time. If he knows that he can’t give you what you want, he realises that he simply will not be able to make you happy, and as a result he won’t be happy.
Though most men don’t realise this is what’s going on, he knows he is unhappy and feels like a failure. So note that men do not consciously realise this!
Without you asking, most men will often look at your life to see if he can meet your needs. If there is a part of him that feels like he can’t meet your needs, he will walk or won’t commit. Why would he commit to a lifetime of failures? In his mind, he thinks he can never make you happy, which means he will also never be happy. For example, I have a client that likes designer clothing, especially bags. She started dating a guy that noticed her expensive taste and constantly commented on her bags and her love for expensive things. She couldn’t understand why it was a problem for him; the real problem was he wanted to be with her but thought he was not going to be able to make her happy because he can’t afford all those things. He decided to leave because he is unable to give her what he thought she needed to be happy.
There are other types of men, not all men or women care about making someone happy. Another type of guy is one that isn’t interested in making you happy and just wants to take from you! This is not the type of man you want to be with; take notice because I am sure that this wouldn’t make you happy. Your happiness gauge will intuitively let you know that he is a taker and not a giver. Listen and act!
Both women and men crave a powerful connection, sometimes men wanting more than just that. We may want the same things, but they come about in different ways. This is where we need to take our rose-coloured glasses off and consider that men do things differently! Men just go about it in a distinctive way which is hard for women to understand. For men, connection happens in four stages.